Bookends

2015 in Review

December 30, 2015 Leave a comment

I am thinking lately where I was same time last year and remember feeling fair–that at least I was still intact, moving forward and finishing strong. I would say the same is true for this year but so much more. As 2015 progressed, I was growing more into my authentic self. It is indeed a liberating experience. Once there is acceptance, the pace picks up, and life is a rolling stone going downhill. I feel the power of the present with the notion that my life is also just ahead of me. I think of my young nephews and how fearless, rambunctious and magical they are–so much hope living inside of them. I see the goodness of this existence, and I don’t want to miss it anymore because quite frankly it’s much too short to be feeling otherwise. Here’s hoping 2016 is another adventure, whether it’s crossing a long desert or wide ocean, let it be one more journey to the center of my soul.

Child’s Play: Our last day in Hawai’i

Filed under Hawai'i, In My Life, Philosophical, The Bay Area Tagged with authentic self, brevity of life, Hawai'i, spirituality, strong finish

Je Suis Paix

November 30, 2015 Leave a comment

St. Benedict, The Painted Church

As is often the case when I’m feeling blue or even trying to fill time, my last trip to Paris was my touchstone. And now as my beloved City of Light is a victim of terror, I stand with her since she was my respite at the end of one of my worst years. While I would lean on that trip 15 years ago to center me, other places I’ve discovered since are also instrumental in keeping me sane.

A highlight on my recent trip to Kona in Hawai’i was a historic landmark in Kealakekua known as the Painted Church or St. Benedict Roman Catholic Church. The moniker was given due to its colorful interior of biblical figures and stories rendered by the parish priest Father John in the mid-1800s. When we drove up, it had started to rain, turning to mist, just as it would in Paris or once in Berkeley when I would fall in love for the first time.

Colorful Interior

The moment was both enchanting and spiritual, and I was most present and connected with my fellow travelers, this time with my brother, his wife, my nephew and my parents, just as I was with those whom I went on my Paris trip. I remember being at a younger age not having the foresight how my life would be as I got older, perhaps because I didn’t know how long I would live. But if there is one constant through the years, it is my family, and I would count on them for the spiritual love that I am seeking.

Filed under Hawai'i, In My Life, Paris, Philosophical, Travel Tagged with Hawai'i, Kealakekua, Kona, St. Benedict Roman Catholic Church, the Painted Church

If I Could Always Be Here

October 26, 2015 Leave a comment

: Island State of Mind: Kohala Coast

There are various stories to tell as I peruse my journaling during my vacation in Kona, Hawai’i: parents who cannot unplug from the rest of the world; a playful, incorrigible six-year-old nephew; a second honeymoon for my brother and his wife. I would be burying the lead if I don’t include the adventures of a single daughter traveling with her retired folks, but that’s for a future book. For the intents and purposes of this blog, what I’m after in October is how I’ve embraced doing virtually nothing but relaxing and simply being–something a city gal like me has difficulty wrapping her arms, much less her head, around. My effort to be more Zen The surprise of Hawai’i is how much I love it, much the same way I feel about Paris and Italy. But my takeaway is tinged with much less sorrow as though I would never see it again. Only a mindset away, I can be a beach bum anytime I want to get away. Quite frankly, I could do it for months, years even. My trip forced me to think how I would want my life to be going forward–no more running on fumes as a result of a protracted daily grind and steady stream of stunning morons and smooth operators that have worn the soul dry. The outflow, I hope, is the life I am meant to lead–less stress, more serenity, love, humor and fulfillment on every level in the chaos and messiness of reality–the measure of living without regrets. Then, maybe, just maybe, when retirement eventually arrives, I won’t have to pinch myself as though in a dream to be in this paradise again.

Filed under Hawai'i, In My Life, Philosophical, Travel Tagged with Hawaii, island mentality, Kohala Coast, Kona, paradise, retirement, serenity, Zen

Paradise Bound

September 26, 2015 Leave a comment

No more excuses, it’s time to finally embark on that island getaway!

Packed and Ready to Go

No More a Dream

Filed under Travel

Some of My Favorite Things

August 31, 2015 Leave a comment

Design in the Every Day: Reclaimed wood from wine barrels

Design in My Favorite Things: Reclaimed wood from wine barrels

Quite frankly, the month of August was about work as I made my foray to architectural writing: dIAmeter blog. I cannot tell you the lengths I made to pull things together, but I believe in the end, it was well worth it to move to the next level of a rather wonderful life.

Architecture and Java: Like Blue Bottle Coffee

Filed under Brass Ring 2.0, In My Life, Writing Tagged with birds of a feather, design, high-low tech, IA Interior Architects, innovation, maker culture

Return to Me

July 4, 2015 Leave a comment

Reborn on the 4th of July

I was catching up on my Marvel Comics movies that included Captain America and finally saw the last “Iron Man” installation with Robert Downey, Jr. Much to my surprise, I related to his panic attacks and anxiety after, I’m assuming, his adventures with the superheroes of S.H.I.E.L.D. But the line that resonated with me was when he turned to an ex-lover to say, “At least, in the mornings I wake up to a person … with a soul.

The first half of the year, I was meeting men who were more or less soul-less. With a month in mid-way through the year, I made it the cutting-off point to aim higher. One of them even told me I was looking for Superman. Quite frankly, my retort is why the hell not? The Man of Steel at his core stood for truth, justice and the American Way. Like Iron Man, he was still at work in progress.

: Back to placid waters

So I am once again returning to me, armed with more experience and the wisdom of formerly divorced women friends whose advice is to slow down and have patience. I must keep a sense of humor, fill my mind with more positive thoughts and–never mind the destination–be and enjoy the journey.

Filed under In My Life, Philosophical Tagged with dating, Iron Man, Jr., Marvel Comics, Robert Downey, Superman

Doing Good

June 29, 2015 Leave a comment

Time to Take Flight in the Second Half of 2015 (in Lolo Cevicheria in the Mission)

I used to write often, but now other things have taken precedence, for instance, self-improvement and catching up financially after the Great Recession. But it doesn’t mean I’m not fulfilling my purpose in my life. I’m where I’m supposed to be, and for a change, it feels good. It feels right. Often connecting to this energy takes plenty of effort. However, there are moments when it’s easy-peasy, when I’m in the right place at the right time.

I went to an art show early this month for the nonprofit Swords to Plowshares and bumped into my old boss, its executive director. Meeting him after a few years was meaningful in a way I didn’t expect in the sense that I could and should perhaps think about giving some of my time to a good cause. I’m not sure what that is just yet, however, I imagine there are a slew of them needing my skills and experience gratis.

So this is the mindset coming out of a moment that saw the Golden State Warriors pull out Game 4 in the NBA Finals and eventually win the title after 40 years. As I separate from the first half of the year, new and interesting avenues are opening up for me to explore and once again move forward.

Filed under Brass Ring 2.0, In My Life, Philosophical, The Bay Area Tagged with Lolo Cevicheria, Moving Forward, Shout! For Women Veterans, Swords to Plowshares

Book of the Month

May 26, 2015 2 Comments

I finished reading a book not too long ago that resonated with me during a time I needed some guidance in my alone-ness. I wished the story would never end, but of course, it had to. One line that spoke to me: Sometimes our desires don’t always align with our intentions. Bringing them together is often a challenge, which is what I encountered during this dating process. In search of the person with whom I would be most comfortable being, this time in my life I really want to get it right, perhaps the reason why I keep chipping away at it until someone like Michelangelo’s “David” suddenly appears.

As the month wore on, I realized my desires and intentions are most in line when I am single and to some extent whenever I’m with my family and friends. I returned to conversations I used to have with an old friend, who told me the man she would be with would have to fit into her life. She eventually met him and enjoying a life with him. So there’s hope after all, but in the meantime I’m savoring mine alone, whether it’s being more engaged with work I’m passionate about, hanging out with friends and family or simply taking care of myself as best as I know how. And there’s never ever anything wrong with that.

Filed under In My Life, Writing Tagged with Beautiful Ruins, Cinque Terre, Cleopatra, dating, Elizabeth Taylor, feme sol, Jess Walter, Richard Burton

Cold Light of Day

April 29, 2015 Leave a comment

In the cold light of day, a situation that once brought pleasure but now disturbs, leads to a moment of clarity, giving way to comfort in that clear-eyed view.

I must say at this point in my life, I arrive to certain conclusions more swiftly, largely due to experience and more knowledge and ways to access it than I could at times bear.

But this is living, which I have to accept, and I have to learn or discover the joy inside of it. Or as Sarah Ban Breathnach wrote on this day in Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy: “There’s certainly enough mystery to ponder–such as the mystery of what will happen next. But instead of worrying or obsessing, you decide to just let go and see what occurs. You choose to take joy in your real life as it unfolds day by day, hour by hour, a heartbeat at a time. …” Well said.

Filed under In My Life, Philosophical, The Bay Area Tagged with Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance of Comfort and Joy, Wisdom in uncertainty