2015 in Review
December 30, 2015 Leave a comment
and the chapters in between
December 30, 2015 Leave a comment
I am thinking lately where I was same time last year and remember feeling fair–that at least I was still intact, moving forward and finishing strong. I would say the same is true for this year but so much more. As 2015 progressed, I was growing more into my authentic self. It is indeed a liberating experience. Once there is acceptance, the pace picks up, and life is a rolling stone going downhill. I feel the power of the present with the notion that my life is also just ahead of me. I think of my young nephews and how fearless, rambunctious and magical they are–so much hope living inside of them. I see the goodness of this existence, and I don’t want to miss it anymore because quite frankly it’s much too short to be feeling otherwise. Here’s hoping 2016 is another adventure, whether it’s crossing a long desert or wide ocean, let it be one more journey to the center of my soul.August 3, 2014 Leave a comment
I typically post an entry every month, but due to technical difficulties courtesy of my good ole domain name keeper Startlogic and July being rather jam-packed with summer activity, it couldn’t be helped that I had to skip a month.
I know no one wants summer to end, but I sense in no time, that of course it will. This transitional period between summer and autumn is my ultimate favorite, I told a friend on Facebook today. It’s as though the direction of the wind has changed. Like clockwork, I’m getting my second wind once again. It’s only appropriate that it should come after a very close friend had come to visit me in San Francisco. The last time she was here was apparently 14 years ago, so she was due and so was I. Quite frankly, I really hadn’t been myself the first half of the year. I felt rushed and hurried most of the time, perhaps even lost, simply winging it.
Carmen has a way of centering me that no one else can. In that breath, that moment, the past just falls away, and I begin to understand how it’s about passing to the other side and seeing things as they are. This sounds oddly Buddhist, and we even had a long debate about whether Buddhism should be considered a religion (par for the course during our college days and thereafter). Whatever the case may be, her visit was not only heartfelt, but also soul-replenishing.
Our day trip to Yosemite National Park, in my opinion one of the most spiritual places on the planet, was a perfect tableau of our seven-day journey together. We weren’t always so cordial to one another 24-7, but it was all part of the odyssey. Happiness is discovered in our travels not the destination.
When I wrote this entry, I was at lunch before returning to work for a performance review. My mind was clear, in spite of the cacophony of sounds and car horns and the murmur of the lunchtime crowd in the city. The bamboo plant next to me was telling me so.
February 15, 2014 Leave a comment
Change regardless how simple does shake one’s equilibrium. It’s like having a new body. I have to re-orient myself to a better way of living, more in the affirmative rather than having to hide my talents, needs and authentic self for fear of rejection. I know this sounds so Oprah-ish. I guess I am volunteering to fill some of the void since she is no longer part of the collective consciousness on a regular basis.
As this new phase in my life is taking shape, it has also opened up more “space,” which I’m tempted to fill. However, I’m mindful of that at times it’s just best to leave it alone and accept it for all its simplicity and what it could teach me–to be.
It’s something I haven’t intentionally paid attention to when I had to put my focus on, say, work, and I had to create opportunities, as minuscule as they were at the time, that cumulatively led to pivotal breakthroughs until a major one presented itself. I know this is getting way too philosophical. But the fact I have a choice between the two or a panoply of options puts me in an unusual, dare I say, power position, that I’m slowly yet surely figuring out how to handle.